Diary of A. . . Read online

  “You can say that again,” I teased.

  Wow! A duchess, I thought. FROM DETROIT! Who wasn’t anything like I thought she would be. It was great!

  “Richard, were you flirting with our guest?” Tanner questioned accusingly, directing her attention to her brother-in-law now. “Why don’t you let the dowager know Ms. Banks has arrived before she sends Godfather Knowles to sleep with all her complaining?”

  “No doubt all about you,” Richard said under his breath standing up.

  Tanner put her hands on her hips and completely turned into the hood chick I secretly saw before, right before my eyes. “Listen here, Dick, I promised Devlin I wouldn’t get into an argument with any fools tonight, so quick acting like one.”

  Richard’s eye twitched and he left the room.

  In two seconds, Tanner composed herself yet again and smiled graciously to me. “Sorry ‘bout that. He brings out the ghetto in me. Him and his mother, but I’ve learned from my husband how to control my mouth.”

  She and all she had obtained astounded me. “How did you meet a duke?”

  Tanner blushed. “Fate. Destiny. It’s all a long story, but in the end I’ll say that you meet someone who you think is just a passing fancy and they suddenly become the man you can’t live without.”

  I’d had a lot of passing fancies, but none of them were ever something I could do without. “But a duke?”

  “Gurl, I was the first one to think I was unworthy. And when he first asked me to marry him I told him straight out, you can’t make a ho into a housewife.”

  Gasping, I asked incredulously, “You said that to him?”

  She nodded.

  “And what did he say?” I know I was being very nosey, but damn! This sistah had balls.

  “He said he didn’t need a housewife because he had servants to pick up his mess.”

  That was hilarious. I almost choked on my drink laughing and again when the biggest damn white man I’d ever seen suddenly walked in the room.

  He wasn’t fat. He was as tall as the doorway, which was way past six feet, and he looked like he ate bricks for motherfucking breakfast.

  Handsome as hell. I could see why this sistah fell for him. Even my panties were getting wet.

  But I believe Tanner was like she was on purpose. The way she was clearly suited this man that she introduced as her husband, Duke Devlin Sanchez.

  Devlin had Richard’s startling green eyes and the naturally tan Hispanic skin, but his features were more aristocratic, topped off with a beautiful smile that took my breath away.

  His broad chest was adorned with medals of service and honor.

  A duke! Damn!

  “Godfather apologizes for not coming,” Devlin said politely.

  “Oh, she’s fine, Devlin, once I got Richard off her ass,” Tanner said. “He was sniffing around her like a dog in heat.”

  “Tanner,” Devlin said in a warning voice.

  She tightened her lip and winked at me playfully.

  A bell rang.

  “Oh good,” Tanner said. “Dinner is served.”

  He turned to me and held out his massive thick arm. “Would you do me the honor of allowing me to escort you to dinner, Ms. Banks?”

  I glanced at Tanner for a brief moment and saw a hint of jealously. She smiled stiffly and nodded her consent. Yet I could almost read her mind.

  ‘Yeah, you can touch him, but don’t think you taking him away from me.’

  I’d be saying the same things to myself, too, if this were my man. Hell, I was the one honored as I wrapped my small arm around Devlin’s while Tanner took his other arm.

  “Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight, wife?” Devlin said, looking heatedly down at Tanner.

  She blushed and smiled even more breathtakingly than before. “No, hubby, but you keep looking at me like that and we won’t make it through dinner. Now stop embarrassing me in front of the guest.”

  Devlin only chuckled and began to escort us out the room.

  As I walked, surrounded by wealth, power and close to a very gorgeous man, all I could think about was…

  Entry Twenty-Three

  Right now I’m comfortably flying back to Detroit, but I wanted to wrap up what else happened in New York.

  First of all, I was almost late for my videoconference with my managers. Secondly, I learned from them that Earl Howard had discussed some things about upcoming changes in the office.

  My managers were worried that the owner might be closing down the office and laying people off. It turns out that a lot of responsibilities of the Detroit office would shift to the Florida or west coast offices, but we would still handle the customer service.

  One of my managers pointed out, “With that being said, Ms. Banks, since you’re the supervisor of the customer service, wouldn’t that really make you in charge of the east coast office?”

  It would seem that way, but I didn’t want to say that out loud. “Did Mr. Howard state this?”

  She answered, “No.”

  “Then we’ll go on as usual keeping an even better watch on all current accounts. I do not want any mess-ups at all and if for any reason you think something isn’t right, please tell me. Keep your ears open and your mouths closed. What you hear, tell me. What you suspect, tell no one. If any shits about to hit the fan, I want our team to look like sunshine after the rain.”

  My managers, even those twenty years my elder, had respect for my authority and I knew they would make sure my orders were obeyed.

  After our meeting was over, I was very tempted to call Cassandra. But I remembered about her husband taking her out, so I opted to write down my concerns instead to kind of give myself a heads up of where I was going with all this:

  1.What is the deal with the company and should I be in fear of not having a job soon?

  2.Should I go over Erin’s head and just speak to Earl Howard even though he has not spoken to me since I worked in Florida? And that was once or twice over the phone.

  3.Why did I completely stop that last entry? Am I afraid of my own feelings? It’s too early to say I have true feelings for any man in my life right now, no matter how magnificent he is in bed. Yet sitting around that table last night, watching Devlin and Tanner making love to each other with their eyes - and I really believe she was doing something with her foot to him, but I wasn’t gutsy enough to look under the table – made me really long to have something permanent in my life. BUT WHERE THE HELL AM I GOING TO FIND A DUKE? LMAO.

  Still that last thought, as I looked at it down on paper, scared me and completed me at the same time.

  Entry Twenty-Four

  While in New York, I called Rick after my last meeting. He said he needed to speak with me, but it sounded like he couldn’t really talk at the time. I swore I heard opera music in the background, but I didn’t comment on this. I just understood he couldn’t talk right then.

  After I arrived from New York, I arranged to meet Rick at the airport. He picked me up and we went somewhere to sit down and eat. We found a casual dine-in restaurant without a lot of people around.

  “You look vibrant, Sheryl,” Rick complimented. “Life has been treating you well.”

  “You think?” I asked. The older I get, I think Rick will be the only man in my life that’s constant. That’s a scary thought because he’s married and I would never knowingly sleep with a married man – although Peter was sort of an exception to that rule. Yet since we aren’t actually sleeping together, he doesn’t really count in my book. And I don’t count Theo either since he’s almost divorced.

  “How’s everything?” I questioned after the waiter delivered our food to the table. “You didn’t sound happy about something.”

  “Work is good, life could be better,” he said nonchalantly, avoiding eye contact.

  “And?” I waited.

  “And that’s it.”

  “Your wife. How is she?”

  “We’re both working now a lot. We were struggling a lot finan
cially, but then she got this job with good hours and decent pay. It’s helping a lot and she even made the suggestion that by next fall I should be able to return to school to finish my Masters.”

  That had been a sore spot with Rick and his wife. He had to drop out of school and take on a second job about a year and a half into his Masters. Their marriage had been very strained back then and I really thought Rick was going to divorce her.

  “But?” I asked, still sensing that everything wasn’t better between Rick and his wife.

  He shrugged. “Things are okay, Sheryl.” Pushing his plate away, he said, “But lately I’ve been wondering how it might have been if I had stayed with you.”

  I stopped eating and stared at him as if he’d lost his mind. “Stayed with me?”

  “When you told me about that unbelievable job offer in Florida, I seriously considered moving down there with you.”

  “But you hadn’t finished your bachelors yet. I graduated early,” I pointed out.

  Rick sighed. “I could have gotten into school down there.”

  As much as I hated to admit it, Rick had made a valid point. He could have gone with me. During my first months down in Florida I had a lot of animosity towards him because he hadn’t made that decision on his own.

  Yet being a good friend, I couldn’t ask that of him and wouldn’t even imply that I wanted him to go with me when I was offered the job. I jumped at the chance to work at Earl Howard’s company faster than an addict offered free crack - without thought to my heart or my personal happiness.

  Reaching across the table, Rick took my hand, but didn’t look up at me. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about us, Sheryl. I miss us.”

  I tried to play it off, praying he wasn’t going to say what I was thinking. “Rick, there’s still an us. We’re still friends and we’ll always be friends no matter what.”

  “I was talking about when we were more than friends.”

  I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me. Deep down inside I wished he had said it so long ago.

  “Rick,” I stuttered, lost for words. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that I want us to be more than friends again, Sheryl. I want to make love to you.”

  I snatched my hand away abruptly. “Have you forgotten you’re married? Just because you’ve hit some seven-year itch it’s not right to use me like that.”

  “But-”

  I cut him off. “Furthermore, I have mad respect for you and our friendship. What happened in the past, stayed in the past, Rick. We’ve moved on and I thought matured.” I knew my words were cruel, but I really didn’t think he was thinking straight and thus needed a serious wake-up call.

  Rick smiled uncomfortably. “Yeah, you’re right, Sheryl. I’m sorry for even asking. Please forgive me. I guess I was acting kinda crazy because… well, I think I’m jealous that for the first time, she’s found something to make her happy other than me. Before she was always dependent upon me to keep her busy. Now it’s like she’s blossomed into this independent woman ever since she started working again.”

  I remembered exactly why his wife had hit a stunt in her emotional growth. But I wasn’t going to drag that back to the surface again because I knew it had been emotional for him, as well.

  “You should be glad that she’s at least not depending on you so much anymore,” I told him. “I remember when you used to complain to me that she was always crying for you to come home. How you didn’t have any time to yourself. This is a blessing. Don’t try to look too much into it, Rick, and enjoy the fact that she’s actually stepping out of her shell.”

  “You’re right,” he agreed a little bit stiffly, but honestly. “I’m really sorry and thanks, Sheryl. I knew you’d help me through this shit.”

  I relaxed, feeling his sincerity. “It’s all forgiven. Now why do you have an itch to cheat? That’s not like you, even with the circumstances.”

  “I don’t know, other than her coming out of her shell and acting differently like she’s got a new lease on life. Besides that, lately I just feel like I’m missing out on something and…well, marriage is getting in the way.” He started on his second drink the waiter brought out for him.

  I pushed away the feeling that somehow my Rick had also changed. That he wasn’t the same guy from the past. But then when I looked into his eyes, I felt that old Rick and so I wasn’t too worried.

  This was just a phase, I convinced myself. Sometimes life could beat the hell out of a person, but we’re all strong enough to take it, get up and start over again. I truly believed Rick would overcome all this frustration he was feeling and continue to be with his wife and make her happy.

  He changed the subject. “Still working for that same company, aren’t you, Sheryl?”

  “Yeah.” I smiled, because I was proud I had longevity. A lot of my fellow college graduates couldn’t say the same.

  “Why you never left? That’s a long time to work for one company.”

  I shrugged. “I guess it’s comfortable. I honestly enjoy my job and whenever I receive offers from other companies, my supervisors usually give me a raise to keep me. Plus, with me really never having a constant personal life, I guess I needed to have a constant business life. Although recently there have been talks of big changes in the wind at work.”

  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Sheryl,” he assured me.

  “Thanks for your vote of confidence, Rick. When I’m jobless and homeless I know who to come to for money,” I teased.

  He chuckled. “You ever thought about owning your own business? You’d make more money as a consultant than working for someone else.”

  It had crossed my mind once or twice – a month, but I never examined what it would really take to pull it off. And I didn’t know if I would have enough clientele to sustain the comfortable life I was living now. Yeah, that was a sad excuse not to start my own business.

  Rick’s statement really made sense to me now. Especially since things were changing at our company.

  Hell, I could get so big, that I could possibly take over Earl’s company and buy him out. Then I would kick him out for being so damn trifling and sleeping with his employees.

  Still, I answered Rick coolly. I really didn’t want him to know how worried I was about losing my job. “Doesn’t everyone think about going out on their own and starting their own business. Plus, I’m seriously thinking about how to get my current supervisor’s job. She’s VP of eastern operations.”

  “That sounds nice. I’m sure you’ll get it.”

  Curiously, I asked, “And how do you know that, Rick?”

  “Cause you’re Sheryl Banks. You know what you want and you get what you want.”

  I liked that! And he was so right.

  Entry Twenty-Five

  I know this sounds real silly – even though I am writing this down in my own journal, but I actually make sure I do a thousand inner muscles tightenings a day. I like to know that whenever a man has the pleasure of my company or an invitation between my thighs, no matter what size he is, it will always feel like a snug fit.

  I think I did double the amount while going back and forth to New York because I was thinking about Theo, about how his size really differed from Mack’s.

  I was so glad to get home. I called Mack as soon as I entered the door, because he’d sent a thoughtful card about missing me in the mail, along with a dinner invitation.

  After I called to accept his invite, he said, “I’m sending a car to pick you up at seven-thirty.”

  “Can you send it to my job?” I questioned. “I need to go in and check some things out.”

  “Aww, Sheryl, they aren’t expecting you back until tomorrow,” he cajoled. “Take this as a much needed vacation and let me pamper you. I could even send the car early and have you taken to a full care spa, get your hair done and pamper you to death until dinnertime. All my treat.”

  As wonderful as that sounded, I knew I had to take a ra
in check. I wanted to make sure things at work were not going awry and that I could get this client information to Cassandra personally before she left for the day.

  “I’ll take you up on that offer another time,” I promised.

  “Fine,” Mack said, sounding very disappointed. “But remember what all work and no play does.”

  I chuckled and added, “Makes a rich bitch.”

  Mack burst out in laughter, loving my sense of humor.

  A knock on the door ended our conversation. Chris smiled brightly as I said, “Hello,” when I opened the door.

  “You’re looking well,” I said.

  “Thanks,” he said blushing. “L-Last time I was here, I noticed your cabinets were loose.”

  I wanted to add that wasn’t all he noticed, but I didn’t say anything. I just moved out the way so he could enter.

  Knowing I was seeing Mack tonight, I knew I couldn’t entice the maintenance man to do some work on me. So I just followed him, knowing I was making him feel uncomfortable.

  “H-How was your trip?” Chris questioned.

  “It went well,” I said casually. “Did you want anything to drink?”

  “Sure,” he answered.

  I looked in the refrigerator, forgetting what had been in there before my trip. “I have water, apple juice…” I leaned down to look in the back of the refrigerator. “Milk and Vernors.” Looking over my shoulder, I saw Chris staring at my ass. “Chris,” I called sharply.

  He acted like he was slapped. “Oh, um…no, I haven’t.”

  Was he going crazy?

  “Drink Chris,” I reminded him. “Did you want something to drink?”

  “No. I’m not thirsty.” He shook himself and started looking at the drawers in the kitchen.

  I closed the refrigerator and excused myself from the kitchen to prepare to go back to the office. I packed an overnight bag and a change of clothes for dinner. Before leaving, I left a couple of dollars on the dining room table for Chris to cover the cost of any repairs.